Strawberry Hill

Monday.

I went there last night again. It’s fantastic. Realer than real. Better than anything.

Bobby came too. It was his first time. When he saw it he nearly freaked. Crying and talking about Jesus. Like he’s got anything to do with it. Imagine if he’d stuck around. If he’d seen me with the Gog he’d have wigged out totally and then we’d all be in trouble.

I got in at four this morning. None heard me I think. It was beautiful. I could feel the sun shining on me. It was like I was still luminous. Sometimes when it’s so peaceful and the birds are singing it feels like you’re still there even though you’re back in reality.

Thursday

Shit. Lisa keeps looking at me like I’m on drugs. She stared at me over the breakfast table. Lucky I had long sleeves on. If she saw the bruises on my arms she’d tell Mom. Mom hasn’t noticed. She’s seen my grades and they’re all she cares about. She thinks I’m going to Harvard, but she’s in for a surprise when I stay here and take a job at the store.

I can’t leave here. If I leave here I won’t be able to get there and I can’t think about that. About never seeing her again. Miranda. Miranda. Miranda.

I wish I could write poetry. She’d like that. She’d smile if I gave her a poem and I want her to smile. I'm going back tonight. Bobby says he wants to come. Says he'll stay this time and not wig out. Says he's not stopped thinking about it since Monday. I guess it'll be ok.

Friday

Bobby’s gone. He ate something and he didn’t make it back in time. Shit. His Dad’s gonna die. It’s my fault. I knew he wasn’t listening. He didn’t follow the rules. This isn’t for kids. I have to go back and get him.

Maybe I should tell Lisa where I’m going. She’s young enough to understand. Or maybe not. Sometimes she’s more grown up than the rest of us.

I can’t tell the twins. They wouldn’t care. Too busy studying to be lawyers.

If I tell Mom, she’ll think she can fix it. She can’t. It’s not like she can buy Bobby’s Dad a new son. I have to go and get him. If I can’t bring him back, maybe I should stay there too. Miranda doesn’t want that though. Says she’ll never speak to me again if I don’t follow the rules. Maybe that’s because she wants Bobby instead of me. He’s with her and I’m not. It’s not fair. I’m the one who sorted out the Gog and that’s what she said she wanted.

Eyewitness. Bobby’s Dad

Simon came to my house on Friday. He seemed very upset. He said he and Bobby had gone somewhere together the other night and that Bobby had gotten stuck there. I asked him what he meant by that and he got very agitated. Said it was his fault. There was a girl involved. Miranda he said her name was. My Bobby’s never been in trouble before. We raised him a good Christian even if he is a bit slow sometimes. I always thought that Simon came from a good family but I guess kids of all kinds get caught up in drugs these days.

I asked him about that but he said no and got even more upset. Said I wouldn’t believe him anyway. I said I believed in a lot of things other folks don’t, like the blood of Christ and the Resurrection so he could tell me anything he wanted and get a fair hearing.

He said that was very kind and he calmed down a little. He said he was going to get Bobby back and if he couldn’t, well, if he couldn’t, I was to tell his family he’d tried real hard but there was a bigger reality out there than the one they knew about and he had to help his friend.

I trusted him I guess. He seemed sincere. A little shook up maybe, but a good kid at heart if I’m any judge.

He said not to follow him but I need to know where my Bobby is. He walked up towards Strawberry Hill. Bobby always liked the old stones up there so it didn’t surprise me.

Halfway up I guess I must’ve blinked because he disappeared right in front of me.

I thought the rapture might have come, but I heard a voice that didn’t make me think of heaven. Soft and beckoning maybe but more like a harlot than a holy virgin. I guess they’ll turn up when they’re finished with her or she’s finished with them. Maybe they’ll come back as men.